Kendra Stone

High School Essay


By Matt Stone, a paper written about an event which changed his life, to gain entry to a private high school.
Date: 1 0, 2006

When I first started this paper I thought I knew what I was going to write about, I thought that it would be easy. But when I started it I found that it couldn't be harder, I almost broke the delete button on my computer. I have had a lot of loss in my life a lot of moving around, a lot of pain. My mom left my dad when I was four and I’ve been living with her ever since.

One of the reasons my mom left my father is because my mom had been diagnosed with cancer and felt that if my father would not support her in her fight for life then she had to leave him. During my mom's battle with cancer she started studying Kung Fu, which she had always wanted to do but being a full time mom left little room for Kung Fu, now she had to do what ever it took to battle the disease. She became came quite good and advanced through the program quickly, eventually earning two black belts.

While studying Kung Fu she met a man, he had started kung fu at the same studio as her. At first my mom thought he was an arrogant and geeky guy, but after working with him for awhile his personality began to grow on her and they became friends. They became very close and then lovers. Erik wanted my mom, me and my sisters to move in with him. My mom said yes. This man would become a powerful influence in my life, and still is.

Erik kept my mom going and I looked up to him, I wanted to be just like him. He was tall and lean he reminded me of a tree. Not a huge thick redwood, but a thin one that bends with the wind but will not be thrown around or tamed by it. He gave me so much hope that life would get better with his light hearted and easy humor. He pushed me to try harder and be smarter.

There is one moment in time that I will never forget; I was at his work sitting next to a row of computers. I was on a big red spinney chair and he was standing over me, quizzing me on my multiplication tables. All I wanted to do was play a computer game and not do homework, you know slack off and not do my work. But Erik wouldn't let me; he just kept saying “Nope not until you know all your multiplication tables!” No matter how much I pleaded he wouldn't let me he stood strong. Most people would just say well everyone’s parents/ guardians are like that. But not for me, I mean my mom was always there educating and loving me. but I had never had a man who I looked up to say no, or encourage me, demand of me that I do the right things, teach me from a mans point of view right from wrong, or show me how discipline pays off.

I had no dad to help me with math no dad to play catch with, at least not until Erik. That moment in time has stuck with me because now that I look back on it I wish my whole life was like that. When I finally had all my multiplication tables down I remember him giving me a tissue to dry my eyes after my temper tantrum of anti math rage. I remember he looked me in the eyes and said, "Good job..... Now that wasn't so hard was it?" then he turned on the computer and I spent the afternoon playing the computer game with him.

I remember that day because it helps me always to look at life from two points of views, 1. Life is hard, and math is too but with a little discipline and focus it can be done and well 2. Always remember to be a kid, no matter how bad life or how hard your job is you have to remember to laugh and to have fun just like a child.

I had begun to look up to Erik over the years and truly, really love him. Now that I look back on it I wish I had, had more time with him. He died when I was almost 11 years old, he was 27 years old.

Something first attacked Erik’s lungs and then his large intestine and because of that he had a colectomy to try and save his life. There have only been 7 other documented cases in the world of a similar progression after a colectomy, (removal of large intestine) that the disease spreads to the small intestine and stomach. In Erik's case though there was never a bacterial infection or viral infection to blame, every test came back negative for everything that he was tested for and every known test was used. We had teams from around the country working on this puzzle. It was so weird that specialists from all over wanted to help solve the medical mystery. He did have ulcerative colitis but it was controlled before the disease process began and ulcerative colitis is not what ultimately killed him. But what ever it was did cause that to go out of control. When it was clear that he wasn't going to live much longer my mom had him moved to his mother's home where he could die with family. He died in my mothers arms. That was in November 2001, me, my mom, and my family still miss him.

I've never told anyone this but sometimes I still cry about Erik when I’m laying in bed at night thinking about him, I cry. So I think it’s a turning point that I’m now writing it in a paper to apply to high school, and noticing that it has taken me so long to deal with all the feelings around Erik’s passing. Still sometimes when I’m looking at pictures of him I pull back and try to hide my love. I used to say I don't remember him so that I could run from the pain, but I do remember it all and always will.

Erik made me a better person and I hope that I will continue to grow as a person due to his influence. Lots of things have happened in my life, good and bad, but it is the people in my life and what they do, the choices we make together, that makes me who I am not solely the events that come to pass. Which is why, I will always remember Erik as a laughing boy and not a weak and sickened man.